Last week I was worrying about getting a job. This week I’m looking at starting work on Thursday. Yet one more in a long list of examples of how faithful God is. One day you’d think I’d learn to trust Him like I should. While I wasted time worrying, He knew there was a job waiting for me.

So here I am, soon to be employed for the first time in three years and I’m contemplating what it means to start over. For some very good writings on this topic, check out Jeff Goins’ Writing and Michael Perkins’ Handwritten.

I thought I had ‘starting over’ down. After all, I did it all the time. But when I really analyzed what I was doing, it wasn’t starting over; it was going back.

To get clean I moved back to Memphis (my grandmother’s).

To find a ‘new’ place, I moved back in with one of my sister’s.

To get things right with my parents I moved back to my home town.

To help my grandmother I moved back to Memphis… again.

To get sober I once again moved in with my parents.

To deal with stress I used to go back to drinking.

To deal with stress now I have a tendency to fall back into bad thinking. (Which doesn’t really help deal with stress.)

To get out of bad thinking I go back to what I think helped in the past; but if it had helped, the issue would have been solved.

It’s time for me to really learn what starting over means, and to learn what it will really take to start over. I did some research on what God thinks of starting over, as it turns out He’s the author of it! I found quite a few verses on starting new, this is just one of them.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

I want something new. Not just something new but something God driven and inspired. Truly starting over takes something I lack – courage. Fear has held me back for a long time, and if I want to live a life worth something I have to stop giving into fear. So I suppose my first step on the road to starting over is letting go of fear and doing something whether I think I’m smart enough, educated enough, or ‘good’ enough. Is there a ‘Starting Over for Dummies’ book? If not, someone needs to write one! That would be extremely helpful.

Have you started anything new lately? If so, what’s your motivation and how is it going?

Advertisements