I’m going to start this by saying I’m not laying blame on anyone for anything. These are simply facts as I understand them, and I’ve come to realize certain things about myself that I wanted to share.

There was a time when I believed I could do anything. I always loved telling stories, but it didn’t hit me until much later that those stories could be written down, so my dreams as a child looked a bit different than they do now. I wanted to act, or perhaps dance in the ballet. I taught myself to walk on my tiptoes and do pirouettes; though I’m sure they looked pretty awful. The next logical step in my mind was to ask my mom if I could take lessons and so that’s what I did. And she told me one of the worst things you can tell a ten-year old.

“You’re too old for that.”

She was full of helpful advice. I wasn’t very pretty, but I wasn’t ugly, either. I wasn’t the smartest but I wasn’t dumb. My voice was okay if I sang country (she hated country music). I’m sure she meant well and it was probably the way she was raised, but it’s only recently that I realized how big of an impact that had on me.

On top of ‘advice’ she gave me, I was bullied constantly in school until I moved to a small town and attended a high school that was too small for social groups. You either got along with everyone or you were an outcast. And we all got along fairly well, thank the Lord.

All that to say, on recollection, my mother probably did the most damage to my way of thinking about what I was capable of. When other kids tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough, it hurts; when your own mother tells you that – no matter how kindly – it leaves a scar for life.

As I said at the beginning, I’m not trying to run my mother into the ground. I loved her then and I still love and miss her now. We all make mistakes. No parents are perfect because no people are perfect. And I’m almost positive that I wouldn’t be a very good mother at all. I’m simply stating facts. What is, is; and what was, was. No matter how good or bad, it can’t be changed.

The point to all of this is that sometimes we have aspects of our personalities that are either good or bad and we have no clue how we came to have them. For me, I’ve always wondered why I was so self-conscious and lacked confidence. Now, I have a better understanding of how I came to be the way I am, and that helps some.

I believed I couldn’t do anything not because I couldn’t do anything, but because I’d let it seep into my head that I couldn’t. I’d never actually tried. I was too afraid of failure to try, and I’ll never get anywhere like that.

So I threw myself out there a week or so ago and left a job I hated for one that – so far – is a million times better. I’ve never worked in sales before and I’m excited about learning and trying new things. Although the hours are long and the job competitive, it has its perks. Another bonus to this job is that I can still write and network while not with customers. I could never do that at any job I had before.

It’s amazing to think about how much time I wasted believing I’d always have to work jobs I hated because I couldn’t do anything else. Sometimes the most frightening thing to do can be doing the thing we want the most. For me I’ve had to stretch far out of my comfort zone in the last couple of months. And in doing those scary things (starting a blog and going for a job unlike any I ever had, to name a couple) I’ve taken back tomorrows that I thought I could never have. It’s true, anything is possible.

Have you made a leap of faith into taking back your tomorrows? What have you done and how is it going?

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