A new job always comes – for me – with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. Normally I have a ‘freak-out’ moment the first day. I go home a sobbing mess sure I can’t possibly do the job I’ve just taken on. This time I skipped the first day freak-out and have apparently decided to save it for the third week. Ever tried looking calm and collected while you feel like you’re about to lose all the contents of your stomach? Yeah, I’m not very good at that.

I kept hearing Tom Hanks’ in A League of Their Own… “There’s no crying in baseball!” There’s no crying in sales, either. Not if you want to make it, at least.

It’s a competitive job where some of the coworkers seem to not really care (or want) you to make it. I’ve never been in a job like this before. I’m used to teamwork, not psychological games where it feels like the people you work with want you to fail and give up.

To make matters worse, I wasn’t even trained for this job. I was just thrown into it with the promise of training that I hadn’t received yet. I’ve been winging it with no real idea of what I’m doing. Part of this is my fault, I know. I need to be studying at home on everything I can get my hands on, but that’s difficult after working for nearly eleven hours every day with laundry, cleaning(which I’ve sorely neglected to get done), and a puppy I need to take care of waiting for me when I get home. Not to mention that I’m pretty much emotionally exhausted by the time I get home, as well.

Yep, on Tuesday morning of this week I was sure I’d made a big mistake. But what could I do? I need a job and I had one so it was either suck it up and do my best or quit and continue in the long line of failures that I’m trying to break free from.

I texted my dad asking for prayer that I’d be able to overcome the anxiety that had my stomach ready to turn itself inside out and my mind spinning in circles and he texted me back with a reminder that I desperately needed.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

I should never worry or be afraid. God is with me. Whether I do fantastic at this job or fail miserably, God is with me. Whether I have the start of a life-long career or get fired tomorrow, God is with me. Whether I soar high or crash and burn, God is with me.

I have to let go of fear and trust in Him. While I may still entertain ideas of being completely humiliated out of this job, does that really matter? God is with me. If this job doesn’t work out, I’m fairly sure He’ll take care of me. That isn’t an excuse to not do my best, of course. It is an understanding that will allow me to not be guided by the fear of what may happen.

Now it’s just a matter of living by it and letting go of old patterns of habit, which is never an easy thing to do. But even that is covered by the promise that God will always be with me. So I don’t have to break down in tears (which would only give my coworkers more fodder) and I don’t have to lose my lunch to a rolling stomach (which is a waste of money).

I went into work with that mindset Wednesday morning and the first thing I was told was that we’re starting a training program. And boy was I relieved. All that stress and worry from Monday and Tuesday was a complete waste of time and energy.

Are you struggling with fear or doubt? Take strength and courage from this, God is with you. What more do we really need?